Check out the sexy coupons I got for my birthday! |  |
- Check out the sexy coupons I got for my birthday!
- Me when my Mom used to shield my eyes during a sex scene in a movie
- Attractive Qualities
- How to be truly offensive at a funeral
- Its the children that you gotta watch out for!
- Golf Again?
- Flat Tummy
| Check out the sexy coupons I got for my birthday! Posted: 31 May 2012 06:57 PM PDT |
| Me when my Mom used to shield my eyes during a sex scene in a movie Posted: 31 May 2012 05:12 PM PDT |
| Posted: 31 May 2012 05:03 PM PDT |
| How to be truly offensive at a funeral Posted: 31 May 2012 02:05 PM PDT Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first. Tell the widow that you’re the deceased’s gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo. Walk around telling people that you’ve seen the will and they’re not in it. Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin. Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow. Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over. Urge the widow to give the deceased’s wooden leg to someone poor who can’t afford firewood. Walk around telling people that the deceased didn’t like them. Use the deceased’s tongue to lick a stamp. Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on. Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit. When no-one’s looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased’s mouth. Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream “MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!” and pretend to faint. At the cemetery take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose. Get someone to call you on your cell phone during ceremony and pretend your talking to the deceased person. Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried. Tell everyone you’re from the IRS and you’re confiscating the coffin for back-taxes. Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn’t keep a straight face while praising the deceased. Write “Best before last week” on the top of the coffin when nobody is looking.
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| Its the children that you gotta watch out for! Posted: 31 May 2012 01:54 PM PDT |
| Posted: 31 May 2012 09:38 AM PDT “You’re going out to play golf again” his wife complained. “I’m only doing under doctors orders.” replied her husband.
“Do I look stupid to you” she screamed. “But its true,” he said, walking out the door. “He specifically told me I should get some iron everyday.”
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| Posted: 31 May 2012 09:25 AM PDT There was a small boy who was put to bed by his parents. The boy had a nightmare, and got out of bed to go to his parents room.
When he got there, he saw mommy bouncing up and down on daddy. When his dad noticed him in the doorway, the kid ran away. The mother got off and got dressed quickly, and went to the boy’s room. He was in his bed, and he asked, “Mommy, what were you doing to daddy?” The mother replied, “Well, your father has noticed his belly getting bigger, and I was just trying to flatten his tummy for him by bouncing on it.” “Oh, that’s what you were doing. But you’re wasting your time mommy.” The boy said. “Oh, and why is that?” The mom asked. “Because everyday when you leave for work, the neighbor lady comes over, gets on her knees and blows it right back up again.
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