Choose your level |  |
- Choose your level
- Modern world morals
- International airline
- What’s your religion?
- Reasons to allow drinking at work
- Devout Catholic
- A guy takes his talking dog to a talent scout.
| Posted: 02 Jun 2012 05:57 PM PDT |
| Posted: 02 Jun 2012 03:34 PM PDT Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. “I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one clergyman self-righteously, “Did you?”
“I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?”
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| Posted: 02 Jun 2012 02:57 PM PDT Acronyms for International Airlines Italy ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia
Britain BOAC = Better on a camel Belgium SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again Pakistan PIA = Please, Inform Allah Yugoslavia JAT = Joke About Time Pacific Western Airlines PWA = Pray While Aloft PWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.
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| Posted: 02 Jun 2012 01:48 PM PDT I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!” “Like what?” “Well … are you religious or atheist?” “Religious.” “Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?” “Christian.” “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?” “Protestant.” “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?” “Baptist.” “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?” “Baptist Church of God.” “Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?” “Reformed Baptist Church of God.” “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?” “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!” To which I said, “Die, heretic scum!” and pushed him off.
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| Reasons to allow drinking at work Posted: 02 Jun 2012 09:23 AM PDT The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.
1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.
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| Posted: 02 Jun 2012 08:33 AM PDT Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies.
She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. Soon after she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, “At least they’re finally together.” A guy sitting in the front row says, “Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?” The priest says, “Neither, I mean her legs.”
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| A guy takes his talking dog to a talent scout. Posted: 02 Jun 2012 07:23 AM PDT "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what's on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on…" the talent agent responds. "All dogs go 'roof'." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog, "What does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog, "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. The dog turns to the guy and says, "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
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